i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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