I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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