I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
This house was built for laser tag.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
