you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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