I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
