My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
