The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
