Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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