What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
