We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize