You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize