ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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