it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize