you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Sorry about my life...
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
