just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
