if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
