why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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