I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
