tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
