My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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