I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
