My pussy is not your playground.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
