Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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