You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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