And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
