Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
