Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
