i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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