dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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