I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my phone needs a breathalizer
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
