You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
