I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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