We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
