I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i've created a new STD.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize