exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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