Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
