The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The power of my boobs compel you
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
