I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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