you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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