New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
