New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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