There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
