You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
he fucked my hip out of place.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
