Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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