You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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