There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
