I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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