marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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