who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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