I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
