I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
