And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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