i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He felt like a one man threesome
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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