So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
