Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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