I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
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