his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
