Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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